Notgrass Company: America The Beautiful {Crew Review}
- America the Beautiful, Part 1: America from 1000 to 1877
- America the Beautiful, Part 2: America From the Late 1800’s to the Present
- We the People: Words from the Makers of American History
- America the Beautiful: Student Workbook
- America the Beautiful: Lesson Review
- Maps of America the Beautiful
- Timeline of America the Beautiful
- America the Beautiful: Answer Key
Mixed Emotion {Epilepsy Awareness}
This is a rough period in our life. Rough doesn’t even really begin to describe it. Hell is a better term.
I can’t even say what I’m feeling now. I am up and down, depressed one day and raring to go the next. My emotions are completely mixed and in true Gemini fashion, I cannot even guess which of my dual personalities is coming out next.
I’m tired, I’m hurt, I’m angry. I’m a whirlwind just blowing through every day right now. I feel like I’m caught in a spin and I cannot stop it.
I know it will end. I know it will calm. I know I will have that false sense of safety again.
Then BOOM – it will all come tumbling down because seizures will breakthrough, medicines will need adjusted and babies will grow.
I want a normal life with normal kids that have no health issues. Isn’t that every woman’s dream? Don’t we all think how perfect our children will be before they come?
I know when I was a little girl, I never thought that my children could be sick with anything like Epilepsy, even when I knew I had it myself. Now I watch Laycie treat her dolls for this disorder and all because she and her sister and brother have it. She shouldn’t even know it exists!
But she does and what can I do but prepare her for a life of living with it. And not only for her life but for those of her children too. Epilepsy will impact her entire life: past, present and future.
People always tells me about these poor children they know, about their families in town and how they suffer this or that. Though I do feel sorry for them, I think what about my children? People look at them and think how lucky we are to have “normal” kids. They never guess anything is wrong with our children.
Epilepsy is a hidden disorder. Until my children drop, they appear perfectly fine. On the outside, they look like everyone else. On the inside, this monster lurks waiting to turn our lives upside down.
I know I should have more faith. My big brother’s words always stick with me, bringing me strength. On the day I told him Emmalee had Epilepsy he told me, “She’ll be ok. We’ll get through this. We did it with you, we will with her too”.
I hope every day for those words to be truth. To just be able to get through it all, without losing one of my babies, without a seizure damaging their brains for life. Most people don’t realize just how serious a life with Epilepsy really is. Truth is, my babies may not make it through their next seizure and that is my biggest fear in our fight with this disorder.
It’s not something I want to talk about and it’s something I have spent much of our life ignoring. But how can I continue to ignore the truth? Today, I’m not talking about it but you can bet, I will be in the future. Stay tuned.
Bible Study Guide for All Ages: Primary Level {Crew Review}
Tyndale Rewards Program {A Propeller Review}
Homeschooling with God’s Blessing {Epilepsy Awareness}
Nine years ago around this time, it was time to enroll my sweet baby boy, my oldest into public school. I totally wasn’t feeling it. It just seemed wrong to me to send my sweet and curious boy away to someone else all day. So this lead me to research.
I immediately got online and began researching our schooling options. I had come across Homeschooling somewhere on a parenting board. It intrigued me and I wanted to know more.
We {my now ex-husband and I} had just went through a long ordeal of beginning our journey into Epilepsy with Emmalee. She was still just a baby, around a year old and had been doing great on her medicine though she would have the occasional breakthrough as the dose grew weak during her growth spurts. School would be coming up for her before long too, as time has a way of flying. I knew I did not want her to go through the same things I had as a child in public school with Epilepsy. I researched homeschooling even more.
I prayed. I remember I actually got down on hands and knees for this one. I continuously prayed. I’d look at my children and say a prayer, “God just show me what to do”. I’d be in a store and think, “what should I do about school for them?”
It didn’t take long for the answer to come. One day, I was shopping in a thrift store and came across some How to Homeschool books. I grabbed them up. A few days later I was dropping off some unwanted items into the local swap building and discovered a stack of homeschooling curriculum someone had dropped off. Since it was free swap, I grabbed it up too.
I came across our homeschooling association. I put off calling. After finding the items mentioned above, I decided to give them a call. They were absolutely wonderful! So caring and so helpful.
I went to the local library the association had suggested. I spoke in person to the lady in charge of curriculum materials for homeschoolers. She was a blessing to me! God was providing just the people I needed. She showed me so much that day and taught me lessons I still give to others today.
I attended the New to Homeschooling class from our local association. It was an “Ahhh” moment. I left there still nervous and scared but so much more prepared for this journey than I ever realized I could be. God had more than answered my prayer over that few months. Homeschooling was exactly what we were going to do.
We started homeschooling Winston immediately. Emmalee would join in later. I was prepared for only one kid. I had invested in a Bob Jones curriculum from the local Homeschool Used Book Store. I was determined this was going to be done right and that meant Public School at home. No one would say I’m not teaching my kid!
Boy, how little I knew then! It immediately failed. We struggled. Win hated school. And those lessons have stuck with him for life.
Win is my hardest student. He excels at Math. He loves going outside to learn science and is hands-on about history. He hates and is not good at reading. We have used almost every program imaginable and still he struggles.
Emma excels at reading and trust me, I often question how. We have used so many varied programs that she really should be struggling with it herself. With all the time I have spent focused on her brother’s reading, she has really taught herself what she wants to know about the subject. Sure the curriculum was there and it helped but the learning was all her.
{I am honestly proud, not only of her but she has shown me that I’m not a failure as a teacher after all.}
Over the years, we’ve kept plugging along with homeschooling. There was a brief period in the midst that I enrolled the oldest two in Public School at the insistence of others. I immediately regretted that decision when Emma began having migraines and seizure activity after being seizure free for a year.
And it was in that period of time that Win’s esteem suffered because the school made him realize what he never had: he couldn’t read at age 8. Many boys don’t read at that age but they never explained that to him. I’ve spent many a day trying to rebuild that destroyed esteem and let him know it’s ok that he struggles with something and it’s not the end of the world. He will get it and he is getting closer to where he should be each and every day.
I pulled the kids back out of public school. Emma’s health recovered almost immediately when we returned to our normal routine and she was able to rest and not stress. Win and I are still working on the issues he gained while at public school but we are getting there.
Now here we are, 9 years later. Over time, I have questioned our reasons for homeschooling. I wonder if it was the right decision but then there is always something that confirms it was God’s will to me.
Just today, I thought about it. I realized there is no way I could even begin to raise and care for four kids with three that have Epilepsy if I wasn’t homeschooling. The schools in our area are not equipped for them. Then there would be the issue of keeping up with their public school lessons, missing days, taking time off for rest and doctors, etc. The truancy officer would surely be knocking on my door every week!
God knew just what His plans were for me as a Momma of children with Epilepsy. He planned ahead, allowing me to Homeschool. He blessed me with great children who love and listen and help each other along with Momma when she needs it. He prepared us with a way to bond unlike any other and a way to learn that brings us even closer together.
As you consider your own journey into homeschooling, with or without medical reason, remember to pray. Remember to ask God for direction. Sometimes He will point you to Public School because He needs disciples to light candles in the darkness there too. Sometimes He will lead you into Homeschooling because He knows it is what’s best for you, as has been our case. Either way, the results will always be to Glorify God in the lessons and in Life.