Luv'N Lambert Life

A blog about living with Epilepsy, IBHS, Homeschooling and so much more

Luv'N Lambert Life

January 2018 Update {Thoughts From Me}

by

I haven’t been posting as much lately because life’s been busy.  We’ve been moving into the new house and we’ve had Christmas and Winston’s birthday to celebrate.  December is always our busy month.

My baby turned 17.  I can hardly believe I’ve been his Momma for 17 years now.  Time has rushed past me and my son is almost a man.

He’s kindhearted, helpful and such an inspiration to me.  He’s struggled with learning over the years but he’s never stopped trying to overcome his learning difficulties.  He’s taught me what perseverance is.  God blessed me with this boy of mine and now I understand why he was my first born.  I’m proud to be his Mother and can hardly wait to see where God leads him in his life.  But we’re in no rush to get there.  I plan to enjoy this last year with him before he’s a “man” by law.

17 years I’ve been a Momma.  That’s an accomplishment to me.  I have 13 years to go before my youngest baby reaches that “man” stage.  13 years will fly by I know.

I’m proud of this accomplishment.  When I was a child, being a Mother to four children was my goal in life.  To be a Mother and a teacher and singer.  I do all three of those now.

Homeschooling was chosen for my children when I was married to my ex-husband.  It was a choice we made together.  It was a choice I prayed over and it was a choice that God led me to.  It’s also a choice my children and I have never regretted, nor do we plan to change.  It’s been the best for us.

I’m looking forward to continuing this journey as a Momma.  I’m looking forward to sharing many experiences still with my “almost grown” son and with my other 3 beautiful babies as well.  They’re all growing up on me so fast but every minute we have is cherished every single day.

I hope this post finds you all blessed and as loved as I am,
Dana

Choosing Life {Epilepsy Awareness}

by

Many years ago, I was asked to write a post that I have put off until now.  My reason for not completing the assignment as asked was simply that I am always to busy.  But recently this topic has weighed heavily in my heart and I feel it’s time to speak.

I was born with a disorder that affects my day to day life.  For years, my Mother could not understand why.  She only knew it was a terrible disorder that left me lifeless for long periods of time and terrified her greatly.  This disorder is Epilepsy.

Growing up, we had no answers and we were thankful when I did outgrow the tonic clonic episodes.  My Mother beyond thankful to not have to watch her daughter helplessly suffer.  It was everything she spent her life praying for.

At 19, I married my ex-husband.  At 21, I had my son, who does not have Epilepsy.  At 23, I had my daughter, Emmalee.  At 3 months, just two weeks after her first vaccines, she began having seizures as well.  They continued until she was 5 when she also outgrew them.  God is amazing.

As Emma grew, I became pregnant with my third child, my daughter Laycie.  Having Emma, I thought, okay we have this disorder, she has it and so my next child will be fine.  Not true.  At 4 months, just two weeks following her vaccine series, Laycie also began to have seizures.  At 4 1/2 months, Laycie went Status Epilepticus with 9 tonic clonics and over 23 absence and complex partials.  Honestly, I lost count.  The seizure lasted 13 hours straight.  I truly thought my baby was dead.  But God had much bigger plans.

When Laycie was 3, at her birthday party, I began to have seizures again.  This time a complex partial took control of my mind and body and left me without control.  Several more have followed since but I haven’t let them stop me.

4 years later, I became pregnant with my 4th child, a boy: Jackson.  At this point, I already knew I would not vaccinate as it is an obvious trigger for my children’s seizures.  I didn’t and his seizures held off.  At 10 months, he began to have Involuntary Breath Holding Spells which trigger Epileptic seizure.

It was at this point that we began to seek genetic testing to find a reason for all these seizures and the link between us because it was obvious this was genetic.  It took over 2 years to get answers.  The first panel didn’t show any genes.  The much bigger panel for Epilepsy did pinpoint a gene for me, Emma and Laycie though not for Jack.  We still have no reason for Jack’s seizures.

Through all of this, I never once considered not having my children.  I never once considered them a burden, but instead a blessing from God.  I never once considered being their Mother a burden either, though sometimes it’s challenging.  But God knew.  He knew what he was doing when He blessed me with each one of them.

For me, abortion was never a thought or an option.  I believe that God will equip us for our needs.  I believe He alone gives us our beautiful children and He alone knows just what we can handle.  I could have never chosen that option as it wasn’t in me.

See even if you have Epilepsy, even if you feel like you just can’t do this Motherhood thing, even if you see more challenges then you may feel it’s worth, don’t give up.  Hold strong to God’s Love.  Know that He’s chosen you for a special mission, a mission of Love.  Choose life.  Choose to have Faith for God will not fail you.

Abortion is the easy answer for us.  It’s promoted to be a quick solution but it’s not.  The ache in your heart is never healed.  The missing child cannot be replaced.  It’s something that will remain in your soul forever.

So I beg you to pray, to search your soul before you make this decision that will affect your life permanently.  I beg you to ask God to show you the truth of the light and His word.  I beg you to allow Him to show you the plans He has made for you.  Though, at first, it may seem impossible God can make things happen that you cannot imagine.

Had I known what I do now about my life and that of my children, I still would change nothing.  My children are a blessing.  They hold my heart and there is nothing I would not do for them.  They truly changed my life.  I know it will be the same for you.

Many blessings,
Dana Lambert – Hodge

And Then God Answers… {Epilepsy Awareness}

by

Last week, I was at my wits end trying to find something to write about on our little blog.  My brain was just blocked.  No ideas would come.  I was seriously about to give up on this writing thing and just give y’all nice little Wordless Wednesday Images and reviews for the rest of my blogging career.

But God, wouldn’t have it!  He wants me to write.  He’s given me a voice for a reason.  To share, to teach, to show others our life.

Recently, I was on Facebook as I often am throughout my day, and my attention was drawn to several posts within private groups that I am in.  Those responses generated messages in my private inbox from those who wished to know our story a bit better. And since I love to talk and share, I couldn’t turn down the chance to give hope to others.

Through this, I was reminded just how important it is to write and share our journey with Epilepsy.  God spoke… He really yelled at me and asked why I wasn’t writing and sharing this testimony that He’s given to us.  And my honest answer is that I just don’t know.

If you’ve read my past posts on Epilepsy, then you know I don’t find it to be a burden but instead a blessing.  I know we could have a worse disease or disorder.  For our family, Epilepsy is challenging but it is our life.

For 37 years, I’ve had some relationship with this disorder. (I choose to call it a disorder while some classify it as a disease.  To each their own.)  It began with having seizures as a child, then again as an adult.  When Emmalee was 3 months old, it changed to being an Epilepsy Momma and later to being an Epilepsy Momma of 3 with E.  This led to me being an advocate for Epilepsy and an Epilepsy blogger.

My reason for sharing is that I want my children to know they are not alone in this.  I want others to know they are not alone in this.  I want the World to know that it’s okay to have Epilepsy!

Growing up, my Mother didn’t tell the world I had Epilepsy.  It was something you kept hidden so others didn’t judge you.  She would tell my teachers and advise the school but that was pretty much it.  She made me aware and prevented me from doing many things.  I wasn’t allowed to spend the night with friends or do activities that could cause me to hit my head.  I was pretty sheltered and protected by her.

As a Mother, I understand why she chose to parent me that way.  I also knew what I wanted to change for my own children.  I didn’t want my children to be kept from doing anything they truly wanted.  I also didn’t want to put them through the public school challenges of dealing with teachers who just didn’t understand their mental challenges in learning, so we chose to homeschool.

My mother was lucky in that out of her three children, she only has me with Epilepsy and I was her baby.  In my own family, I have my oldest son who doesn’t have Epilepsy and my following three who do have some form of the disorder.  All of us are uniquely different in our Epilepsy but I will discuss those differences later in another post.

But for now, this is what has inspired me.  God has led me to share my life story, our life story, in order to help others.  I hope you enjoy our posts and find them helpful as we hope to inspire you.

God bless,
Dana

Happy 16th Birthday To My Oldest Son {Thoughts From Me}

by

Today my oldest child turns 16.  Let me start by saying this Momma is in NO WAY ready for that.  My sweet BABY is almost a man.  I shudder just to think about it.

I can remember when he was a tiny baby, with brown curls and a cherub grin.  Everyone who saw him thought he was the prettiest baby boy and yes, some even asked if he was a girl.  I didn’t mind.  To me, he was the most beautiful baby ever.

The day he was born, he looked like a tiny little wailing alien.  He loved to be held and his Grandmother and Papa were always toting him around.  He was well-loved by us all.

He was my emergency c-section.  His delivery was a traumatic one.  The doctors almost lost us both.  I remember feeling the pain and feeling myself begin to float as they prepped me for his delivery.  I was put to sleep and when I awoke it was all over.

The first thing I saw of my newborn boy was a photograph.  I wasn’t able to get out of bed and he wasn’t able to come see Mommy for 6 long hours.  His tiny body had suffered so much stress that he had to go into the warmer and be monitored right away.  I remember just being thankful he was alive and well.

The first time I held him, I was in LOVE.  He was the sweetest little thing.  He loved to nuzzle and he refused to sleep alone.  I don’t think he slept one time in his crib.

Isn’t funny how I can remember that period of time like it was yesterday?  Time passes so quickly.  Soon that little baby is going become a man.  Time is too short.

I’ve watched him grow every day.  I chose to homeschool him because I couldn’t bare to pass these moments that God blessed me with to someone else.  Selfishly, I wanted to keep these years all to myself and I am so glad that I have.  These memories will last us both for a lifetime.

This young man who has blessed me these past 16 years is like no other.  I used to wonder why I had a son first and not a daughter but now I know.  He’s been my rock, my supporter, my strength through so many things.  He’s quiet and a true peacemaker.

I honestly could not have made it through these past 16 years without this wonderful young man by my side.  He’s helped me with his sisters, our home, keep up with everything and just been a friend and a loving son to me all the way.  I tell him all the time that one day he’s going to make some girl a wonderful husband.  A lucky one she will be and yes, I plan to let her know that!

So here is to my soon-to-be 16 year old.  May we continue to enjoy the short time we have left together and many years afterwards.  I love you my son – more than you can ever know and I thank God every day for the blessing you have been to my life.

Who’s Fault Is It Really? {Thoughts From Me}

by

Last night I was at home watching a movie with Don and the rest of the family. I am pretty sure it was a Christmas movie, yet I can’t remember the name.  It was the typical man and woman meet and fall in love movie.  Yet, near the end of the movie, there was one statement that really hit home for me.

You see in all my failed relationships, the other person has always pointed the failure towards me, yet I never felt the failure was completely my fault.  The men in my life have always tried to make me feel that I was the problem, that it wasn’t them.  They have told me that I would continue to find the same problems over and over because, well, that problem was me.

Honestly, I was beginning to believe them.  Then Donald came along and he has worked to change my thinking.  Trust me, it’s been really hard for him to do but this movie confirmed what he’s told me since we met.

You see, it was never me that was the problem.  It wasn’t really them that was the problem either.  The real problem was that these guys I was with were never meant for me.  Since they weren’t right for me, our relationships could never work.  It wasn’t anything either of us did, it was simply the wrong person for me to be with.

Now I know that’s easy to see now but it wasn’t so easy to see when I was with them.  And walking away doesn’t make it easy to see when you have been told over and over that you are the problem.  Sometimes it takes a HUGE wake-up call, like hearing it said straight out in a random movie, to make you realize, “Hey, I’m not the problem here!”

We can never be happy with the wrong person.  God created us each to be unique and He created each of us to fit one other unique individual.  That individual is our other half, the love of our life, our soulmate. 

I’m blessed to have truly found mine, to know of his love for me, for my children, for our family and our life together.  Sure things aren’t always perfect because we’ve both been brainwashed by being in the wrong relationship before finding one another and finding our right relationship, but we work hard to heal and love and move forward together.  We are learning to forgive, to depend on each other and to embrace our life as it should be with one another. 

When love is right, it’s just right.  You know it wholeheartedly.  I’m so thankful to have found my love in Don and also to have found this healing piece of truth from something so simple as this.

Until next time…
bluedanasig2

Blog-button-2013-small

New Followers

by

To all our new friends and followers:

Just wanted to say welcome to Luv’N Lambert Life.  Thank you so much for joining us.  Please let me know if you have a blog, Facebook page or Twitter account because we LOVE to follow back.  Feel free to reply and let me know what you would like to see or hear more about on our little blog, on our Facebook page or our Twitter account.  We appreciate all feedback.

Thanks again and have a blessed week!

Dana