April 18, 2018
Today my oldest child turns 16. Let me start by saying this Momma is in NO WAY ready for that. My sweet BABY is almost a man. I shudder just to think about it.
I can remember when he was a tiny baby, with brown curls and a cherub grin. Everyone who saw him thought he was the prettiest baby boy and yes, some even asked if he was a girl. I didn’t mind. To me, he was the most beautiful baby ever.
The day he was born, he looked like a tiny little wailing alien. He loved to be held and his Grandmother and Papa were always toting him around. He was well-loved by us all.
He was my emergency c-section. His delivery was a traumatic one. The doctors almost lost us both. I remember feeling the pain and feeling myself begin to float as they prepped me for his delivery. I was put to sleep and when I awoke it was all over.
The first thing I saw of my newborn boy was a photograph. I wasn’t able to get out of bed and he wasn’t able to come see Mommy for 6 long hours. His tiny body had suffered so much stress that he had to go into the warmer and be monitored right away. I remember just being thankful he was alive and well.
The first time I held him, I was in LOVE. He was the sweetest little thing. He loved to nuzzle and he refused to sleep alone. I don’t think he slept one time in his crib.
Isn’t funny how I can remember that period of time like it was yesterday? Time passes so quickly. Soon that little baby is going become a man. Time is too short.
I’ve watched him grow every day. I chose to homeschool him because I couldn’t bare to pass these moments that God blessed me with to someone else. Selfishly, I wanted to keep these years all to myself and I am so glad that I have. These memories will last us both for a lifetime.
This young man who has blessed me these past 16 years is like no other. I used to wonder why I had a son first and not a daughter but now I know. He’s been my rock, my supporter, my strength through so many things. He’s quiet and a true peacemaker.
I honestly could not have made it through these past 16 years without this wonderful young man by my side. He’s helped me with his sisters, our home, keep up with everything and just been a friend and a loving son to me all the way. I tell him all the time that one day he’s going to make some girl a wonderful husband. A lucky one she will be and yes, I plan to let her know that!
So here is to my soon-to-be 16 year old. May we continue to enjoy the short time we have left together and many years afterwards. I love you my son – more than you can ever know and I thank God every day for the blessing you have been to my life.
Like most Momma’s, I have big dreams every time one of my babies are born. It was no different with Jackson.
Like most Momma’s, my thoughts were not on him being sick – that was a mild thought in the back of my mind – what if he has Epilepsy too, like my girls, but I never thought it would actually happen. Then it did.
Right now, Jackson’s only a baby but I can see him grown, reaching at least 6’4 with blue green eyes, like mine, and a wide smile. I can see his huge feet, and his hands large enough for hard work, but gentle in love. I can see him loving the outdoors – he already does – and working hard.. I can see him learning to shoot his bow, his gun and also see him nailing a deer on his first “real” hunt.
I can see all of these things clear as day, but I know they are not promised by God. The reality is that he may never reach the age for me to see these things. Epilepsy is a thief that sneaks in and attacks without notice and takes those we love in the blink of an eye. Jackson’s lack of control puts him at higher risk for this, doubles his risk for SUDEP – Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy.
Right now, we are evening out on treatment. The Phenobarbital is his 6th drug in two months but his 3rd specifically to control the Epilepsy. So far it’s working. He’s been on this medicine a week and a half and he has had two seizures that lasted less than a minute each, with no after effects. He’s had a few mild absence, too but they lasted less than 30 seconds each. This is a huge change from weekly – sometimes more often – Tonic Clonics (Gran Mals) we were seeing in him. He can even tantrum and he comes out without seizing first.
I’m thankful for these changes. I’m thankful we have control. I’m thankful for answered prayers. But I am not naive enough to believe that we will never face these things again. Medicines become outgrown, treatments begin to fail. At this point, I can only pray this doesn’t happen, pray that treatment continues to work and continue to enjoy the days that God has blessed me with, with my children.
I will never forget the fear I felt in seeing my baby without breath, struggling for life. Neither will his brother and sisters. But we have a faith in God that He will bless our Jackson and our Laycie, that He will allow them to share our life, our days for a while longer and that I will someday see my boy grown and see all of my sweet babies living their life seizure free. Prayer does miraculous things!
Last month really got away from me! I kept thinking it’s April and I have plenty of time to blog. I’ll do it tomorrow. Then BOOM, it’s May! For me the month flew by!
April was a good month but a busy month. My baby girl turned 5. She’s such a joy! So spirited and chatty. She starts talking when she wakes up and she doesn’t stop until she falls asleep at night. But every day she brings happiness and joy to all of us. And every day she shares some new knowledge of something she’s learned or life through her precious eyes. Her sweet heart is unlike any thing I could ever imagine.
All my babies bring so much joy into my life. My oldest recently learned to ride his bike. He’s twelve, the same age I was when I finally accomplished that task. He did it on his own, just like me, with out being pushed to do it. Simply got on, made up his mind and rode. I couldn’t be prouder of his accomplishment or his new found will to do something he’s never done before. He experienced his first injury riding that bike this week too but he’s still willing to get right back on. Every day he comes one step closer to being a man and I couldn’t be more impressed with this young man on his way.
My sweet Emma is growing up too. This week she cleaned her toilet all on her own and voluntarily. This girl who thinks cleaning is disgusting. This girl who would rather live in a mess than pick up her dirty clothing. She cleaned a toilet! All on her own and very well too! Then she dusted our entire living room. Washed down every item on every table without complaint. She even dusted in her brother’s room. She’s growing into a wonderful young lady. She’s going to make an amazing wife and mother when she’s grown. But for now, she’s making her Momma proud and rising up to bless me like I could never have imagined.
My baby boy turned 8 months a few days ago. 8 months and it feels like he’s always been a part of our lives, yet at the same time it seems like such a brief period of time. 8 months definitely flies by. He’s eating a lot better, loving meats and cookies and everything except Sweet Potatoes. He’s trying to crawl too. Pushing up and rolling to get things he really wants, like baby wipes that he rubs over his hands and face. He’s a joy, too, but he’s growing way to fast to be my last baby. Brings tears to my Momma eyes to know that soon he won’t be a baby. Soon he’ll be crawling, then pulling up, walking then running away.
I’m not ready for them to grow up but they do anyways, no matter what Momma wants. Babies grow up and before we blink they are moving away. We have to enjoy every moment we have them and I plan to.
It’s a big part of why I homeschool. I won’t give my promised moments to someone who doesn’t love them like I do. I won’t hand them over for someone else to have those God-promised memories we share. I will raise them up and love every minute, even though I may complain and may be told I should cut the apron strings. I will when the time comes but for now, we make memories, we share love like no other, and we grow and learn together as God intended us to. And we’ll keep on until God-promises otherwise.
January is jam packed full for me this year. This month is filled with doctors appointments, review materials, photographs to work on and so much more. It’s beginning is sure to prove that the rest of the months in my year will be just as full.
This month begins another year on The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew. There are a lot of amazing vendors coming up this year. I’m excited to share each one of them with you as my reviews become due.
This month also brings reviews from many other avenues: Propeller, Booksneeze, and Blogging for Books just to name a few. I have several great give-aways coming up so prepare to stop by in the future to check each one of them out.
On the home front, therapy has started back for Laycie again. She loves her therapists and enjoys her once a week visits with them. She learns so much without even knowing she is learning.
At her recent speech eval, Laycie scored in the 6 year old range on most things. She turns 5 next April, so this just assured me once again that homeschooling is the right thing for us. Laycie scored out of language for her therapy but still requires articulation to help continue building her speech.
Winston had a doctor’s checkup today. He’s perfect in all aspects, but I already knew that! (Yep, I’m pretty biased when it comes to my babies!) He is exactly 5’0 tall and weighs 90lbs. He’s come along way from his 7lb15oz birth weight and 21 inch length. He’s been having some tummy issues lately so we have been referred to a Pediatric GI for further exam, which we will hopefully get into very soon.
Jackson is feeling better after his recent bout with his ear infection and mild cough. He began eating cereal and applesauce this week and loves it. He gets one feeding a day at this point and of course his usual breast milk. He’s growing so fast and is an adorable 13 lb butterball, getting bigger every day.
Later this month, Emma has an appointment with the Pediatric Ortho for her toe-walking. We are finished with therapy for her. We are finished with braces for her. Now we are heading back to the Ortho for another eval to determine if she will be cast or if she will require surgery. I’m hoping for casting, honestly but it will be up to her doctor.
Yesterday, the Bestie and I began a fitness program with walking. We walked around the rather large pond 3 times to start. Today, I purchased Zumba Fitness 2. We both worked through the short course and boy do I feel it! Yep, I’m pretty out of shape right now. My goal is to get back into shape, flatten my tummy, eat a little healthier and drink more water. So far, I’ve only managed to increase the water a little but the rest is a work in progress.
So this is what our month consists of: Lots of doctors appointments. Lots of reviews. A new fitness program for me. And loads of other fun that I haven’t mentioned above. It’s sure to be a month full of activity and as my new year’s word stated, I’m driven to get through it all! Have a blessed week!