love my family

Last night I was at home watching a movie with Don and the rest of the family. I am pretty sure it was a Christmas movie, yet I can’t remember the name. It was the typical man and woman meet and fall in love movie. Yet, near the end of the movie, there was one statement that really hit home for me.

You see in all my failed relationships, the other person has always pointed the failure towards me, yet I never felt the failure was completely my fault. The men in my life have always tried to make me feel that I was the problem, that it wasn’t them. They have told me that I would continue to find the same problems over and over because, well, that problem was me.

Honestly, I was beginning to believe them. Then Donald came along and he has worked to change my thinking. Trust me, it’s been really hard for him to do but this movie confirmed what he’s told me since we met.

You see, it was never me that was the problem. It wasn’t really them that was the problem either. The real problem was that these guys I was with were never meant for me. Since they weren’t right for me, our relationships could never work. It wasn’t anything either of us did, it was simply the wrong person for me to be with.

Now I know that’s easy to see now but it wasn’t so easy to see when I was with them. And walking away doesn’t make it easy to see when you have been told over and over that you are the problem. Sometimes it takes a HUGE wake-up call, like hearing it said straight out in a random movie, to make you realize, “Hey, I’m not the problem here!”

We can never be happy with the wrong person. God created us each to be unique and He created each of us to fit one other unique individual. That individual is our other half, the love of our life, our soulmate.

I’m blessed to have truly found mine, to know of his love for me, for my children, for our family and our life together. Sure things aren’t always perfect because we’ve both been brainwashed by being in the wrong relationship before finding one another and finding our right relationship, but we work hard to heal and love and move forward together. We are learning to forgive, to depend on each other and to embrace our life as it should be with one another.

When love is right, it’s just right. You know it wholeheartedly. I’m so thankful to have found my love in Don and also to have found this healing piece of truth from something so simple as this.

Until next time…

In an impromptu effort to encourage family relationships with my children, I have allowed them to travel with their Grandmother to Florida to visit their uncle (my brother) and his family. Anyone that knows me knows that this is totally out of character for me, as I rarely let my kids go anywhere that I am not, much less 2 states away from me. It was a last minute decision that I can honestly say I am pleased has happened though I miss my kids very much – I’m sure they are not-so-much missing Mommy with all the Florida fun and sun though.

It all started last year when Emma asked could they go with Grandma to Florida in which I replied no but she was so sad and so disheartened that it saddened me. So this year when time for the trip came, I first said “no” but at the last minute I changed my mind and told them they could go. I was looking forward to alone time with the kids per my original “no, you aren’t going” but I know they want to see their uncle and cousins who they rarely see due to the distance in living. Needless to say the kids couldn’t be happier!

So the weekend was spent washing up clothing, packing and gathering necessary items to send them on their way. We gassed up the Tahoe and filled it up with loads of things to keep them occupied on the overly long trip. Then early Sunday morning, we sent the four plus Grandma on their merry way. They stopped off and picked up their cousin Megan to go along on their travels too. Grandma gets a week with all seven of her Grandkids at one time! Whoo Hoo!

With the kids gone, that leaves me as a Mommy with no one to parent. You’d think I’d be living it up, enjoying this vacation that so many long for every day. Nope – I miss those four beautiful kids desperately in just the few hours they’ve been gone and have been keeping busy so that I don’t miss them more.

After the kids left yesterday, the Bestie (Tamara) and I all loaded up in Mom’s car since she has my car and went down to the beach for the first time in forever – definitely the first time this year but maybe the first time in 3 years. We sat in the edge of the water and played for several hours like young children would. It was wonderful and so relaxing.

By the time I left the beach, the day was almost over and I felt as though I’d had a relaxing massage from the beating of the waves hitting me as they washed upon the shoreline. Tamara and I also gathered some pretty shells while we were there. The whole day was just what I needed to keep my mind off of the kids being gone.

After the beach, we grabbed some Subway Subs and headed home. The rest of the night we sat around watching TV, catching up on missed episodes of our favorite shows. It was 4:30 in the morning before we finally went to sleep.

Today I woke up around 11. It was nice to sleep in. I immediately ate something and started on laundry. I cleaned up the living room and put all the out of place things away. I headed over to Grandma’s and did the laundry there as well. Just basic housecleaning that needed to get done.

I also had a wonderful surprise. The books I had ordered from my dear homeschooling friend Carole, had been delivered! The overstuffed large box was waiting for me on the porch. It was filled with books on animals, great readers, science educational stuff and more. Carole’s books are always the best! I can’t wait for the kids to return and find so many new, interesting things to read!

It’s now 7:30 in the afternoon. For the rest of the night, I will be working on pictures that I have been putting off. Tomorrow brings a new day and I will be working on more things around the house. You’d think this was a vacation from the kids but really it’s just catching up on all the things I am not able to get done when they are home with me. Lots of work that needs done while they are off having fun.

Who’s Fault Is It Really? {Thoughts From Me}

A Week With No Kids: Day One and Two {Thoughts From Me}