Welcome to April {Thoughts From Me}
Welcome to April!
Our April began with the Devil shining her ugly face at us. Petty spite and anger from another at our wonderful life became the focus for a few days. The law has been contacted and shall be handling that as necessary. I refuse to be bullied, stalked, or slandered any more. Mama has always said I should have been a lawyer. Maybe one of these days I’ll listen.
The other month, I posted that I was having writer’s block. Well, the good Lord has seen fit to allow thing to happen that have given me lots to talk about! Talk I will with His guidance.
It was brought to my attention that some of you assume my blog is a “homeschooling” blog. It’s not. It’s a family-life blog that I write as a journal, to share with others who are like us and to spread the word for Epilepsy Awareness, Involuntary Breath Holding Spells Awareness and the other health issues we face. This includes my recent battles for my own health with undetermined female bleeding issues. Homeschooling is a just a part of the mix and always will be.
It was also brought to my attention that some of you don’t know how to pronounce my children’s names.
Winston is pretty simple. He was named for his Papa, my Dad. Win-ston. It’s an easy name.
Emmalee is NOT Emily. It is Emma Lee pronounced all together, though she was named for one of my dear friends Emily. I just really dislike the “ILY” spelling of that name so I changed it to something I liked much better. She’s also named for her Great-Grandmother Elma and the Lee for her bio-Dad’s family name. Her Great Great Grandmother’s name was Emma as well.
Laycie is pronounced the same as Lacy though her spelling is different. “Lay-cee”. I wanted her to be different so I gave her a unique spelling like her sister.
Jackson is just that: Jack-son. Simple like his big brother’s name.
Each of these names were chosen for unique reasons for my children after I prayed about them for a long time. Some of y’all know the story of how I chose Jack’s name when I was unsure about it. I had a photo shoot that day and when I arrived his name was written on a wall. It was then and there I knew it was to be his name. God provides signs everywhere. Just today Jackson was telling me he is Jackson and not any other name. God knows who we are meant to be.
Our life is just that. Our life. I share it for others who are like us that just need someone they can relate to. I know there were many days in my life when I felt like no one understood my life. I know there were others who were like me but I couldn’t find them. Blogs weren’t a thing then and growing up people definitely didn’t talk about Epilepsy. Things have changed now. People are generally more open-minded though there are still many who are not.
Now you can judge me on every single word I post here. You can bash me. You can nitpick all I have to say. But really what good is it going to do? I’m still going to write what I feel. I’m still going to say what I think. I’m still going to be me and keep being me. After all, opinions are like assholes, every one has one.
I, personally, try to keep my opinions on others and their lives to myself for the most part. I am not here to judge and condemn anyone. There is a bigger presence for that and we will all face the truth one day. I’m not the one you need to be worried about because I’m just a little insignificant person on this Earth trying to make it through life just like the rest of you.
So here’s the thing. You live your life and we will keep living ours. We are happy, in love, high on life and there isn’t a soul in this world taking that away from me this time. My children are the light of my life. They bring me indescribable joy. As does my husband.
No one’s spite or jealousy or negative remarks will change that. I know his heart and he has never lied to me. He has changed from the person of his past and he is becoming the person he’s always longed to be with my help and his determination. I’ve done my medical research and I will stand beside him and not give up because I know the truth of it all.
“Sometimes the love of your life come after the mistakes of your life.” (I know mine and Don’s both have.)
We all have mistakes in our past. Every single one of us. There is no one better than another. It’s how we choose to live after these mistakes that make a difference.
I have personally chosen to learn from the mistakes of my past and move forward but some people chose to dwell on these mistakes and allow them to destroy them inside instead of embracing what God has blessed them with. They become so wrapped up in the “wrongs” they fail to find the “rights”. They feel owed. But let me tell you. None of us are owed anything from one another. None of us are owed anything in this life.
We all start from nothing and we are hear to learn God’s Love, Mercy, Grace, Faith, Hope and all the things He wishes us to know. But even He doesn’t owe us anything because we were given the greatest gift we could ever receive: Life upon the Death of God’s Son.
God Forgives. God Loves. God gives Grace in our mistakes. God gives Mercy even to those who we feel do not deserve it and He expects us to do the same. Not an easy thing, I know but it can be done. I personally live my life trying to do just these things.
It’s easy to hold a grudge. It’s easy to let the hatred we develop when we feel wronged overtake us. It’s hard to follow God’s guidance and allow ourselves to let go, lay it as His feet and Forgive others.
Life is a learning process. We come in this world to learn, to develop, to follow the things He is teaching us. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we succeed. But no matter we continue to live.
Being consumed with the life of others does us no good because we are here to live our own lives. Being upset because someone has gotten the better of you and acting out does no good because that person is still going to get the best of you in the future and their words really should not matter. We are all just people. Just here living. Make the best of it and let go of the rest.
God bless all of you,
Dana Lambert – Hodge
Dear Stalker {Thoughts From Me}
And Then Life Changes Again {Severe Anemia Awareness} {Thoughts From Me}
I’ve been busy and haven’t updated. I know I’m terrible to just leave you all hanging. So what’s happened?
Well, I had my doctor’s appointment and ultrasound on Monday to prepare for surgery. Do you know what my ultrasound showed? Not a darned thing! There were no cysts on my ovaries which is awesome because I’ve never had cysts on them. There was no fibroids or damage showing to my uterus Scar tissue seen on camera was normal. My uterus was normal. Everything was NORMAL. My uterine lining was slightly thickened in the middle which can simply be caused by my time of the month and did not worry my doctor.
So with all this new knowledge in my mind, I asked the doctor was surgery my ONLY option. He replied that to stop the bleeding completely, yes it would be but if the bleeding was controlled by the med he had given me and it continued to remain controlled we could wait on surgery. He said we can do the meds for a few months and see if they help. Then I can come off of them and see if the bleeding has stopped. I was more than joyous at this.
He decided to do an uterine/endometrial biopsy to make sure that I don’t have cancer. After he did it, he took a look at the sample and said it looks normal for a women of my age who is still in child bearing years. But the sample will tell the story, if I do have cancer or not.
If I have Cancer, then of course the uterus comes out immediately. If not, we discuss the options at a later time. My instinct tells me I am fine and that my insides are healthy. If they are healthy, I wish to find other options for my treatment and have them remain where they are at.
So for now, the surgery is NOT HAPPENING! Meds are happening and I’m totally ok with that. I’ve had no bleeding since starting the meds except mildly after the biopsy was done. And yall this is the mildest period I’ve had in a long time now, so I’m very happy!
My thought is that maybe I am indeed in perimenopause or even menopause and that’s the cause of the bleeding. But only time and testing will tell.
Monday, I also saw my regular doctor and we discussed my constant tightness and pain in my back. She felt it and said I was definitely tense more than I should be so she issues a mild pain med and muscle relaxer for me to try for a month to see how that works for me. If it’s not worked well then she will issue xrays for me to see what’s going on back there.
At this point, the pain is so intense that any time I do physical activity I’m left in so much pain I can barely move. This is not normal for a 37 year old and I told the doctor I just want to know what’s wrong. I don’t wish to take tons of medication I don’t need. I truly just want to know why I feel as I do. So hopefully, we can find those answers by working together.
On a joyous note, Donald and I got married last Thursday. Today makes it an official week! We told very few people and decided spur of the moment to get it all done and over with. We do plan to have a wedding later but we wanted the legal and stressful part done for ourselves. We are so happy to know that we are following what God has planned for us together and for our family! The kids were excited to know Mommy and Daddy are married as well.
Don also bought himself a little truck this week for a small price. It’s a great vehicle for him to work with and carry off our trash. I’m really proud of all he’s done to change his life and ours as well to make it better. We’re only headed upwards from here.
Him getting a new truck means we can find seats for the van for me and the kids so we can officially have a family car again. This is another great thing! I miss our family adventures and can hardly wait to begin them all again soon!
So this is our end of March update. This is where we are in our life. Looking forward to the future and our love and life together as we continue on this journey.
God bless,
Dana
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