Welcome to April!
Our April began with the Devil shining her ugly face at us. Petty spite and anger from another at our wonderful life became the focus for a few days. The law has been contacted and shall be handling that as necessary. I refuse to be bullied, stalked, or slandered any more. Mama has always said I should have been a lawyer. Maybe one of these days I’ll listen.
The other month, I posted that I was having writer’s block. Well, the good Lord has seen fit to allow thing to happen that have given me lots to talk about! Talk I will with His guidance.
It was brought to my attention that some of you assume my blog is a “homeschooling” blog. It’s not. It’s a family-life blog that I write as a journal, to share with others who are like us and to spread the word for Epilepsy Awareness, Involuntary Breath Holding Spells Awareness and the other health issues we face. This includes my recent battles for my own health with undetermined female bleeding issues. Homeschooling is a just a part of the mix and always will be.
It was also brought to my attention that some of you don’t know how to pronounce my children’s names.
Winston is pretty simple. He was named for his Papa, my Dad. Win-ston. It’s an easy name.
Emmalee is NOT Emily. It is Emma Lee pronounced all together, though she was named for one of my dear friends Emily. I just really dislike the “ILY” spelling of that name so I changed it to something I liked much better. She’s also named for her Great-Grandmother Elma and the Lee for her bio-Dad’s family name. Her Great Great Grandmother’s name was Emma as well.
Laycie is pronounced the same as Lacy though her spelling is different. “Lay-cee”. I wanted her to be different so I gave her a unique spelling like her sister.
Jackson is just that: Jack-son. Simple like his big brother’s name.
Each of these names were chosen for unique reasons for my children after I prayed about them for a long time. Some of y’all know the story of how I chose Jack’s name when I was unsure about it. I had a photo shoot that day and when I arrived his name was written on a wall. It was then and there I knew it was to be his name. God provides signs everywhere. Just today Jackson was telling me he is Jackson and not any other name. God knows who we are meant to be.
Our life is just that. Our life. I share it for others who are like us that just need someone they can relate to. I know there were many days in my life when I felt like no one understood my life. I know there were others who were like me but I couldn’t find them. Blogs weren’t a thing then and growing up people definitely didn’t talk about Epilepsy. Things have changed now. People are generally more open-minded though there are still many who are not.
Now you can judge me on every single word I post here. You can bash me. You can nitpick all I have to say. But really what good is it going to do? I’m still going to write what I feel. I’m still going to say what I think. I’m still going to be me and keep being me. After all, opinions are like assholes, every one has one.
I, personally, try to keep my opinions on others and their lives to myself for the most part. I am not here to judge and condemn anyone. There is a bigger presence for that and we will all face the truth one day. I’m not the one you need to be worried about because I’m just a little insignificant person on this Earth trying to make it through life just like the rest of you.
So here’s the thing. You live your life and we will keep living ours. We are happy, in love, high on life and there isn’t a soul in this world taking that away from me this time. My children are the light of my life. They bring me indescribable joy. As does my husband.
No one’s spite or jealousy or negative remarks will change that. I know his heart and he has never lied to me. He has changed from the person of his past and he is becoming the person he’s always longed to be with my help and his determination. I’ve done my medical research and I will stand beside him and not give up because I know the truth of it all.
“Sometimes the love of your life come after the mistakes of your life.” (I know mine and Don’s both have.)
We all have mistakes in our past. Every single one of us. There is no one better than another. It’s how we choose to live after these mistakes that make a difference.
I have personally chosen to learn from the mistakes of my past and move forward but some people chose to dwell on these mistakes and allow them to destroy them inside instead of embracing what God has blessed them with. They become so wrapped up in the “wrongs” they fail to find the “rights”. They feel owed. But let me tell you. None of us are owed anything from one another. None of us are owed anything in this life.
We all start from nothing and we are hear to learn God’s Love, Mercy, Grace, Faith, Hope and all the things He wishes us to know. But even He doesn’t owe us anything because we were given the greatest gift we could ever receive: Life upon the Death of God’s Son.
God Forgives. God Loves. God gives Grace in our mistakes. God gives Mercy even to those who we feel do not deserve it and He expects us to do the same. Not an easy thing, I know but it can be done. I personally live my life trying to do just these things.
It’s easy to hold a grudge. It’s easy to let the hatred we develop when we feel wronged overtake us. It’s hard to follow God’s guidance and allow ourselves to let go, lay it as His feet and Forgive others.
Life is a learning process. We come in this world to learn, to develop, to follow the things He is teaching us. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we succeed. But no matter we continue to live.
Being consumed with the life of others does us no good because we are here to live our own lives. Being upset because someone has gotten the better of you and acting out does no good because that person is still going to get the best of you in the future and their words really should not matter. We are all just people. Just here living. Make the best of it and let go of the rest.
God bless all of you,
Dana Lambert – Hodge