by Dana
by Dana
Monday I saw the GYN.
It feels like it was a month ago but it’s only been a few days. The visit didn’t take long. He checked my blood work. He checked me. And we talked.
He asked was I completely done having children. My answer was yes because I had my tubal. He asked me very seriously was I finished, without considering the tubal, was I done. That was a hard question for me to answer.
He said my uterus is slightly enlarged but not terribly. He said I had two options to stop the bleeding: medicine or a hysterectomy but in the end it would probably be the later for both options. In his opinion it is best to go ahead and take out my uterus.
I’m 37 years old. Except for Epilepsy, I’ve been fairly healthy up until now. I hardly get sick. I make educated health choices.
I’m 37 years old and my uterus is giving out on me. My days of having babies is ending and very soon. My head says this is the right thing to do for my health. My heart is broken.
I’ve had 4 babies and I’ve loved every moment with them. I’ve loved carrying them within my womb. I never once thought the option would no longer be there. I’ve never once thought I’d be without something so important as this.
But here I am. And my only option is to let it go, to say goodbye to this beautiful part of me that God has allowed me to bring forth my most beautiful gifts in. To let go of it for my health so I can live for my children.
My heart says, “just one more”. But then isn’t that time already passed. I said goodbye to babies when I had my tubal.
I regret that. I regret giving up the ability to have children. I regret not allowing myself to have that one more baby. But then that one more would have led into another and maybe another. I don’t think the desire to have more children will ever leave my heart.
And I’m thankful. I know so many women never get their sweet gifts from God. He blessed me with 4 and two I’ll only know when I get to Heaven. I’m thankful for that. For the opportunity to love His children, my children in this lifetime.
So here I am, making this huge choice for my health, with my heart in pieces and hoping it’s the right answer for me. I need to be healthy to enjoy the time I have with my children during their youth as that’s quickly passing every day. I want to be there to see them grow and prosper.
My surgery date is March 29 with some pre-op stuff on March 27. I picked the closest date so I could just get it over with. I’m hoping that it’s quick and easy for me with no complications. I’m hoping it’s like those 4 c-sections in comparison to pain. I won’t know until I get there, but I pray for quick healing and ease in moving forward.
For now this is where we are at.
God bless,
Dana
by Dana
by Dana
by Dana
Monday I went to the doctor for the first time in years for myself. I’ve tried for a year to get this appointment and finally got it. I definitely wasn’t going to miss it.
This appointment was to establish a physician for me and to obtain a physical which I really needed since I haven’t been to a doctor outside an OB in forever. My checks for my pregnancies were also fine and blood work was always good so I never worried about it. I’m rarely sick.
The check up went well. I love the new dr. She’s so sweet and really listened to my concerns. She went through all the details. She issued an EKG to check my heart after my blood pressure dropped on Saturday for no apparent reason. She also had blood work done to check that everything was okay. I left happy with my appointment with her.
This morning, I received two calls on my cell phone which I never get calls on. I assumed it was from the GYN I was being referred to by the doctor and I was sleeping with Laycie beside me so I didn’t want to answer and disturb her. I figured it could wait.
When I finally did get up, I realized it had been the doctors office. My dr and her nurse had both called and their voices sounded really concerned. I immediately gave them a call back.
My blood work showed that my hemoglobin level is very low at a 7 and my cell count is down as well. This explains why I have been so very tired lately. It also explains why my BP dropped as it did.
So the doctor has me scheduled for a blood transfusion tomorrow. Iron is not an option for me as I’m allergic to it and it gives me severe migraines. And I definitely can’t keep going with a low blood level. She really wanted me in today but they weren’t able to fit me into the schedule until tomorrow.
I’ve never had a blood transfusion that I can remember. I’m told it’s like getting IV fluids. I’m hopeful it is. I’m scared it isn’t. But overall, I’m looking forward to my levels being corrected and to feeling better so I can get back to my job as Mom. It’s hard to be down when you’re the Mom of children who have special needs and who need you.
I’m praying the kids remain stable and no seizures happen while I’m dealing with this. God is usually good to us and keeps things in control so I know he’s got my back. I’m hoping one transfusion is all I need and that my GYN appointment comes up with answers for my health that I’m needing so we can get back to a normal life again.
For now though, I wanted to update. I’m taking my phone and iPad along tomorrow so I’m sure I’ll be online trying to keep myself occupied but I won’t be back here for a few days.
Until next time…
Dana
by Dana