past | Luv'N Lambert Life

This has been laying on my heart for a while now: Domestic Violence does not stop just because you leave a household. It continues and it spreads into others who then reach out to attack. It’s a dirty little thing that just keeps going.

Recently, I’ve received some attacks online. Now the thing about online attacks is that they CAN BE traced through IP numbers and pinged from the person who’s sent the messages, even anonymously, and those persons can be prosecuted by law. Once turned over to authorities it won’t be up to me to press charges, it’s done automatically.

But the thing is, no one should be dealing with derogatory comments or threats from others. Exes talk with their new girlfriends and spouses and fuel a fire that doesn’t even exist, or at least it shouldn’t exist. Other exes can’t let go of their own spiteful torments to allow others to live happy lives together when we move on into a new life.

I live my life, I take care of my husband and my children and the past has been left where I walked away from it: in the past. I’ll never understand why some people feel the need to overstep their boundaries or to try to push others into unhappiness because they are not happy with their own lives. These are not people I wish to have in my life or around my children though I pray for them daily.

As for my exes: I don’t have any harsh feelings towards them though no one could fault me if I did due to the many things they each have done to me in the past. I don’t reach out to them or harass them or even make comments to them. I don’t ask for help and I receive child support only because it was required by the state which I was in at the time for my children’s healthcare, which I would think they’d be happy to know my children have for their health. This isn’t about me: it’s about my children.

Women deal with abuse like this every day, abuse that extends outside of their situation and into their new lives as they attempt to rebuild. Most have it much worse than I do but at any level this type of abuse should not exist. No one should log online to find messages that are meant to be harmful and threatening because your ex just can’t seem to move on or mentally they just won’t move on.

Oh and as for me: God is the only judge I have so honestly, your opinions of me don’t really matter. You’re either going to love me or hate me. My world doesn’t revolve around which of those you choose but my friends will tell you, you’d be missing out on a damn good person if you were to choose the hate, especially based off my exes opinions.

God bless – just know I’m praying for all of you,
Dana

Soon I’m going to take the big step to move us over to WordPress and off this current format for blogging, so this past week, I’ve been going through old posts and making a few changes that will make this easier for me. I’ve also been correcting a few things I didn’t know I had been doing wrong with my coding. (Blogging is a daily learning experience.) It’s a lot but it will be well worth it in the end.

Going through old posts means taking a step back into the past. This hasn’t been easy. There are things I wish I could erase. There are things I have deleted just because I don’t want to be reminded they happened even with this blog. Nothing I’m ashamed of, just things it’s time to let go of. I know I can never change the past, and I never would because our past is what makes us who we are today.

I have deleted a few irrelevant posts. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I wrote those. They were just filling space.

I also took notice that my life was going in a certain direction back then but somewhere I got off that track. It’s a road I’d like to find again, and I will in time. See, life sometimes hurts so much that you lose yourself and you become someone who covers the pain with a fake smile or a positive word that deep down doesn’t mean a thing. Sometimes the abuse is so hard that you want to pretend it just doesn’t exist, so you do pretend and you paint a picture that all is right with the world, even when it isn’t.

I took notice that my ex was rarely mentioned in my previous posts. He was in my day to day life and frequently mentioned on my social media while we were together but not here. He didn’t want to be part of my life and he let me know it so often that I just left him out as much as I could. I wanted him but he never wanted me and honestly, I’m okay with that now.

I see now that we were not right for each other and God has blessed me more than I could ever have imagined with my husband, Don and our beautiful family. I see now that God had a bigger and better plan for me. The experience with my ex was something that was forced and something that was unwanted by one side but it was an experience I learned greatly from and one I can go forth and share my pain with others like me who need someone to understand. Having Don in my life gives me hope and strength and love where once their was none.

My blog used to be Christ centered, and though God is still here in my writing, I wish to find Him again, to share encouragement and love, to spread his Truth through my own testimony for God gave me a great one to share. I wish to help others, to inspire them, to show them that a better life is ahead, not to give up and to fight for what their heart desires, for it will come. With God all things are possible and our dreams will come true.

So here I am, finding my way again, working on bigger things that will come about in time.

Until then…

Dana

Attacked Again {Thoughts From Me}

What It All Meant {Thoughts From Me}