hopeful

Naptime {Epilepsy Awareness}

May 23, 2011 by Dana

Today naptime for my little Three Frog was in my bed. Somedays she likes to burrow her sweet blonde head deep into her Daddy’s pillow, snuggle into his blanket and snooze. Today she is doing all of these, with 5 blankets covering her tiny body. She loves her soft blankets.

As I watch her sleeping, I realize just how tiny and fragile she is. Such a precious gift from God. Each time she shakes and twitches, my heart fears the unknown.

It’s been 9 months since her last seizure. Her last checkup went well. We raised her medicine dosage to be sure no breakthroughs would occur. They haven’t. But we never know.

Each twitch reminds me of that. Each jerking of her tiny, fragile, precious body reminds me of this disorder that haunts our life, our family.

I pray.

I pray for the convulsions to be past. I pray for the Epilepsy to simply disappear. I pray for the days of medicating to control seizures to be over with. I pray for a cure for all those who suffer as she does.

My heart tells me not to worry, that all will be well with us. My human mind doubts, and worries, and wonders will it ever end? And if not, what then?

We continue through our days: medicating, praying, loving, snuggling, homeschooling, whatever it takes to make it through to the next one. Hoping everyday for the same results as I have had, as her sister has had, that all symptoms will just dissappear into something manageable, something liveable.

Only time will tell if we will get this wish. Only God Himself knows if it will truly end. A mustard seed of Faith is all I need to get us through but thankfully I have an abundance of Trust and Faith in God’s Great Work that someday this will all be over for her and she will no longer suffer from a disorder she cannot control.

Waiting {March 14, 2010}

May 14, 2010 by Dana

I am sitting here waiting.

Waiting to write, waiting for the words to come, and waiting for things to fall into place. I ask the Lord for guidance and I’m waiting for that, too. But isn’t that what life is all about?

Waiting?

I wait on the Lord to come, wait on Him to guide me home. In the meantime, I live the life He gave to me. It’s a somewhat rocky road I travel on. Many mistakes have come and gone and many more are ahead of me. I wait for those, too, but I know with God’s guidance, I can overcome anything.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I’ve been waiting for my mental block to clear, been waiting on God’s words to inspire me. I could feel God there but could not grasp what He was saying to me. So I patiently waited on His time, for Him to lead me in what to say. I think that time has finally come.

I feel happy, inspired, a bit overwhelmed, too. But I can handle it all, with God beside me, walking me through. Waiting is just a small part of life. The biggest part is yet to come.

An Update: March 31, 2010

March 31, 2010 by Dana

Lately I have had a bit of writer’s block. I am not sure why, just in a bit of a funk. Woke up this morning feeling like I am getting a stomach bug, though I certainly hope not.

The older kids are on Spring Break this week. They are staying with their aunt, uncle and cousin. Things like the park, church and Chuck E. Cheese were on the Fun Agenda for the week, not to mention the Wii and other video games galore, so I’m more than certain they are having a great time. 🙂 I miss them like the dickens.

So, it’s just me and the Laycie Boo, keeping each other company this week. She is currently interested in loving babies, which is sweet to see. She tugs around her little doll and her bear from her hospital stay when she was 4 mths old. She feeds them, holds them, kisses them, tucks ’em in, sings to them and will not go to sleep without them next to her. It amazes me how someone so small can understand so much love and I’m thankful that she has learned that love from me and the world around her.

Starting tomorrow I am taking away the paci again. I had given it back to her when she began developing serious winter colds to help her open her mouth for breathing. For her it works. But now that cold season is over, it’s time to take it away again. Besides she has begun chewing them like crazy. Major no-no.

I’m reworking the classroom/dining room this week too and trying to find some bits of spring to spread throughout the house. I moved the bookshelf from our hallway into the classroom to put all the books in one place and give a little extra room for paper and crayons. I’m threw with the “this is for school” battle I previously had going with Miss Emmalee and have decided to make these things accessible for her creative needs instead so long as she continues to clean up her mess and stay organized (so hard for her and me too). Tomorrow the kids computer desk gets a revamp, poor unknowing thing!

I’m trying to get into Spring Cleaning but this inpending feeling of coming down with something is trying it’s best to prevent my Spring-like efforts and the lovely layer of pollen coating all of our yard isn’t helping much either. I’m a fighter though, so we will see who comes out on TOP in the end of the Spring Wars. Probably, Spring itself – just saying, Mother Nature is much bigger than little ole me! LOL

The Scent of Spring {Spring 2010}

March 9, 2010 by Dana

My mind is running miles and miles a minute. There is a long trailing list of things I would love to write about. It must be the lovely Spring weather.

Spring brings about new beginnings and outdoor fun. It brings the creatures of the earth out of hiding and the flowers into bloom. These are the things the kids enjoy most.

Speaking of the kids: they have been enjoying the outdoors this week. They went to the park while they were visiting their Aunt. They have played outside, riding in the jeep and playing on the slide.

Laycie has joyously stomped her bare feet across the grass all over our yard. She’s enjoyed the new soft, green blades tickling her feet. She loves pulling at the dead growth and watching it blow upon the wind when she lets go.

We have greatly enjoyed the wonderful weather and taking Laycie a quick four wheeler ride. Sunday we stopped several places around the area to watch the water and smell the still-cool salty air. The last remnants of Winter and the fresh beginnings of Spring.