Today naptime for my little Three Frog was in my bed. Somedays she likes to burrow her sweet blonde head deep into her Daddy’s pillow, snuggle into his blanket and snooze. Today she is doing all of these, with 5 blankets covering her tiny body. She loves her soft blankets.
As I watch her sleeping, I realize just how tiny and fragile she is. Such a precious gift from God. Each time she shakes and twitches, my heart fears the unknown.
It’s been 9 months since her last seizure. Her last checkup went well. We raised her medicine dosage to be sure no breakthroughs would occur. They haven’t. But we never know.
Each twitch reminds me of that. Each jerking of her tiny, fragile, precious body reminds me of this disorder that haunts our life, our family.
I pray for the convulsions to be past. I pray for the Epilepsy to simply disappear. I pray for the days of medicating to control seizures to be over with. I pray for a cure for all those who suffer as she does.
My heart tells me not to worry, that all will be well with us. My human mind doubts, and worries, and wonders will it ever end? And if not, what then?
We continue through our days: medicating, praying, loving, snuggling, homeschooling, whatever it takes to make it through to the next one. Hoping everyday for the same results as I have had, as her sister has had, that all symptoms will just dissappear into something manageable, something liveable.
Only time will tell if we will get this wish. Only God Himself knows if it will truly end. A mustard seed of Faith is all I need to get us through but thankfully I have an abundance of Trust and Faith in God’s Great Work that someday this will all be over for her and she will no longer suffer from a disorder she cannot control.