first born

For me, this week not just about the joys of Christ’s birth but also the joys of family. 10 years ago this week my life changed forever. My first-born, my son was born. It was the best day of my life (next to the later births of his sisters).

It was possibly the longest week of my life. Signs of my labor began Christmas day. The actual labor started on Dec. 26th. I can remember walking miles with my best friend in the freezing cold, still feeling quite warm myself, trying to walk my boy out and increase our labor. I remember the squeezing pain as a contraction hit and breathing through it, praying God would be good to us and would take care of my sweet baby boy.

The next day was no better and at some point I went into the hospital to be checked but was told it was not time yet. My contractions were too irregular.

On December 28, 2000, I called my doctors office and begged for an appointment with my midwife. I was told to come in right after lunch, so I did. I walked for two hours around the office while I waited for my midwife to be able to squeeze me into her busy day, all the while being monitered by nurses. Finally, she was able to take me back and check but there was no major changes, though she did “accidently” break my water while checking me. I will never forget the look on her face or the “opps!” that came out of her mouth when that happened. I was told to call who I needed, gather my things (we lived in a small town at the time) and go straight to the hospital.

I went home, called my son’s father, gathered my stuff and ate 4 bowls of spaghetti with light sauce before heading back to the hospital. It was around 4pm when I finally got there.

All seemed to be going well. I arrived and was immediately taken into the back. I was hooked to moniters. The midwife said we’d be a while waiting on this boy to arrive. My DH left to get himself something to eat but before he was out of the room good the midwife returned to tell me something was wrong.

My monitors showed that my heart rate was increasing and my baby’s was dropping. We were in too much stress. I wasn’t dilating past 1 and my boy was ready to come out. He was under excessive stress and so was I. A c-section was necessary for a safe arrival.

By this time, I could feel myself floating out of my body and I knew something was wrong. I was scared for my son and I didn’t want to lose him before I even got the chance to hold him. I immediately agreed to the c-section. It was around this time that my then-husband returned, after my Dad tracked him down, banged upon our door to wake him and got him back up to the hospital. His only disagreement was that he didn’t like my surgeon but by this point I just wanted it all over and our baby to be safe and sound.

I don’t remember much after that. It all went so fast. The pain was intense and I remember biting down on my DH’s finger, concentrating on not hurting him, to get through the contractions. It wasn’t long before I was rolled into the ER, put to sleep and in surgery. My beautiful boy was born to his sleeping Momma at 6:07 pm on December 28, 2000.

When I came out of surgery, I was in so much pain. The doctors had me hooked onto an IV/Morphine drip but I was unable to get out of my bed. My DH and my Mom greeted me with a picture of my beautiful boy, all fat and swollen from his birth with a perfectly round head. His heart-rate was a little off and his grand-father’s heart specialist had him in a incubator running tests to make sure he was strong and heathly before they brought him to me. It was the longest 6 hours of my life, at that point.

On December 29, 2000, right after midnight, the nurse brought my sweet boy to me, placed him into my arms and in this moment my life forever changed for the better. I knew what my life was meant to be, who I was meant to be – his mother. I was and forever am, the mother of Winston Lee Grant. I could not imagine a better job than this one, even on that day I could not imagine how wonderful this job was going to be.

10 years have passed since that day, that moment but I still remember it like it just happened. I can feel the weight of his sweet body as it lay in my arms. I can feel his weight as he grew into the tall boy he now is today. He made my arms full, and my heart fuller. The joys of Heaven brought to Earth through a small child. There is no better feeling than knowing you love and are loved by someone so precious and sweet.

My son has grown into a handsome, caring, hard-working young man. His heart is patient and peaceful. Some day he will be a wonderful father and husband. For now, he’s a wonderful son. His hugs bring my heart peace. His smiles bring me joy. His laughter makes my heart ring with love. He is everything I never knew I wanted and his life is the meaning of mine. Being his Mother is the best gift I have ever received, the best job I will ever have. I am forever Thankful for this child who is blessing my life. I know how God feels as a parent to each of us. Unconditional love.

I’m am beyond thankful for my son, Winston. He is such an inspiration to me and a huge help. He rarely complains about anything asked of him and he does most things with a joyful heart.

When he was born, I was so thrilled to be having a baby but I was disappointed because I really wanted a girl. I knew God had his reasons for giving me this sweet little boy but I did not realize those reasons at that time.

My sweet boy and I had two fun, learning years with just me and him together. He was such a joy in those times, always wanting to be with me and always loving me regardless of my lacking parenting skills.

When he was two, his baby sister was born. I remember when I came home from the hospital, Win had to have a bandaid on his tummy so he could be like Mommy with her incision. He was and still is the most adorable boy.

As his sister and he have grown, they have become best friends. They don’t always get along but they always love one another. Their love for one another also inspires me and thrills my heart.

By the time baby sister, Laycie, came along, Winston was a pro at being a Big Brother. He’s been so helpful with her and loves the time he gets to spend with her when he does help take care of her. She loves him and her sister too.

My boy isn’t perfect by any means. He was a whiner for a long time, whining when he was upset or frustrated. He also has ADHD, though I’ve never had it officially diagnosed. We’ve been able to manage this, along with his sisters’ health, with routines, structure and plenty of rest. Homeschooling helps to provide these things for all three of them. He has days where he’s overwhelmed and frustrated with things but he’s always quick to get over the humps life throws at him.

His spirit is warm and loving. He’s very shy and struggles with school due to ADHD but he always tries hard. He does his work and helps out with a smile most of the time.

I know now why God gifted me this sweet little man first. He has shown me love like no one before him. He has encouraged me to be a better Momma. He increases my faith in the Lord above.

I’m thankful for this boy of mine, for all of his love and encouragement. For his strong, yet meek spirit and his faithful love. He’s proof to me that God really does know what he’s doing.

The Birth Of My Son

Thankful for Winston {30 Days of Thankfulness – Day 5}