This past week has found many instances for me to share our struggles with Epilepsy. Normally, I find that I don’t go out of my way to share with others about our life with this disorder, but neither do I keep it hidden when asked or I think it will help someone. Just to be honest, the memories and talk have exhausted me this week.
This week has reminded me just how serious this disorder is. It has reminded me to be thankful that my daughters Epilepsy is indeed in control. I am reminded to be on my KNEES thankful to my God in Heaven that my daughters do not suffer more with this.
I can sit here and describe the terrors of this disorder all day long but you simply cannot understand unless you have lived similar. There is NOTHING like watching your child lay limp, wondering if they are hurting, if this seizure will stop, if they will have brain damage or worse, death will occur.
Yes, that’s the truth of it. My daughters could DIE from their disorder, from the severity of seizures. My daughters could suffer life changing results, end up basically as vegetables if not dead, from a something that seems so simple but isn’t. Our lives could change forever with one single seizure.
I suffer from this too. Yet I never worry about me. I wish my daughters to be done with this disorder. For it NOT to “bless” our family as it does. For it to be destroyed with us, so that their own children don’t have to live as we have lived, with something that we are limitedly able to control. I pray for a cure, though I know for us there will most likely never be one.
I would love for one of the wonderful natural diets to work for us. I would love to be able to detox my child and give her back her life. I would LOVE to be able to give them some natural medication that will simply take this disorder away. But I also know the dangers of attempting such things without my child’s doctor working with us to do it. I know there could be the most serious of results if I attempt these things and they go wrong.
Our best option is following the orders of our trained neurologist, who always listens to my thoughts on natural treatment, though she often looks at me like I’m crazy when I tell her we will not medicate for ADHD. Still she, too, looks for every option best for my girls and provides needed answers as we go along this journey. I am thankful that God has blessed her with this knowledge to be able to somewhat help my daughters.
I am thankful our Epilepsy is not worse, that there are days when we can completely forget it, when my daughters can live like they are “normal”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always there in the back of my mind but this disorder is “normal” for me, as I’ve lived with it all my life. It will be “normal” for my children as it’s always been a part of their lives.
And daily, I find myself THANKFUL TO GOD for allowing us to be able to control our Epilepsy, for the things we have learned by having this throughout generations of our family that others aren’t as lucky to have for reference, for the ability to LIVE “normal” lives, even with Epilepsy. But mostly I am thankful that my girls do not suffer in pain from their seizures, that the medication works for them, that limiting triggers and control environmental variables helps them. I am THANKFUL to be blessed with two beautiful girls and my sweet boys, to be able to live, love and laugh with them daily and I pray to be able to do this always.
