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It’s Been Over A Year

October 24, 2022 by Dana

It’s been almost two years since I’ve logged into this blog to update anything. I think sometimes we just burn out on writing and life and need a break from all we know. And when you are being stalked and harassed by two separate individuals in an effort to destroy your inner being, and your credibility it weighs heavy on the victim. That victim being me.

I have said before, mental health is a very real thing. These two individuals carry some deep issues and I sincerely hope they are dealing with them. I wish them the very best.

As for me, I’ve reached out multiple times to the husband of the one and have let him know of her antics in the past decade. I can only trust he will see fit to get her the help that she needs.

I’ve thought many times about coming here to write again but I have held back because of the abuse I was beneath at the hands of those persons. I let their angst damage my self worth and allowed their hatred to hold me back. But I’m ready now to speak out again.

The past two years have met me with good things and bad. I was diagnosed with Polycythemia and given a limited life expectancy. My physician has not completely determined if it is secondary or if it’s Polycythemia Vera at this time. Every few months, I have blood removed through phlebotomy to keep my heart pumping correctly and keep my alive.

Getting a diagnoses of Polycythemia is life altering. Not knowing that will happen or how it will affect me or even what has caused this change to my blood has been difficult. But then I remember we’re none promised tomorrow. Today is all we have.

Laycie, my sweet girl, is finally off of Epilepsy meds after 14 years of being on them. She is doing so wonderfully at this time but her seizure disorder will always be a part of her life. Hopefully, she will never have another visit from the Monster but we will always be on the alert for the effects of it.

So far we are working on health choices for her like drinking more water and eating well. The years of medications have really affected her body but she is willing to make the changes she needs to be healthier, and I couldn’t be prouder of that.

I’m hoping the future for us brings me back to blogging more. I have several things I’m contemplating, goals I’m creating, in the works. But I know overall, I’ve left a legacy in my children and with those I’ve helped along the path I’ve taken in my life. And if it never becomes more than this, I’m okay.

Hated

January 26, 2021 by Dana

This post isn’t going to be one of my easiest to write as it deeply triggers my anxiety. Anxiety that is caused from years of abuse, and from years of dealing with my children’s health struggles. But I feel led to write it anyways.

There is another type of abuse that is often ignored: abuse from those who love someone who abused you in your past. I remember discussing this in Domestic Violence therapy briefly, but when I searched for posts about it before coming to write this, I was unable to find a lot about it outside of people asking how to deal with abuse by an abusers loved ones.

For 10 years now, I’ve been stalked, harassed, humiliated online by someone my ex cares about. This person has overstepped their relationship boundaries with my ex and my family more than once. This person has gone so far as to leave hateful reviews on both of my published works, to leaving multiple blog comments, comments on my social media, sending messages calling me a “whore” and “liar” and “bitch”. I’m sure this person has used more distasteful words in their personal commentary, but these are the ones I’ve directly been exposed to by them.

10 years is a long time to hate someone you’ve absolutely no connection to, and have never physically met, or spoken in person to. 10 years is a long time for a so-called “Christian” to stalk and abuse and attempt to destroy someone in the name of “love” for their significant other. 10 years is a long time to stalk someone’s every move and harass them.

Let me reiterate that this person has NEVER MET ME, NEVER SPOKEN A WORD TO MY FACE, yet they HATE me. All because I was previously with the person they love. All because I exist in this world. 10 years of HATEFULNESS for NO REASON.

I make no excuses for this person. You can see their hateful statements in past things that I’ve shared both on this blog, and on my social media. You can view their hateful commentary on both of the book collaborations that I have participated in. It’s all there for public view, along with their location which matches the location of my ex and many closest to him. (If you do take a look, please report the content for it’s removal.)

Because of this person’s unwarranted angst towards me, I stopped writing for the past year. I did this to protect myself and my children. But my daughter turns 18 next month, and with her amazing strength and support, as well as my Husband’s, my Mother’s, and my close friends, I have chosen to stop hiding and speak out as an advocate on something that is very real and very harmful. I know I am not the only one to face this type of abuser.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I don’t just contact the police. I have. I have reports written and filed on this person’s actions and behavior for my personal safety. And I could sue, but I’m a Mother of four who spends all my financial means to support my children, and honestly traveling to their location would cost me excessively. I would rather keep that money where it belongs: in my home for my children’s needs.

The thing is, I was once in this person’s shoes, making the same excuses for the person they love and why they weren’t around, blaming others for things that I believed true of them. I know how easy it is to believe the lie they create to make themselves seem to be great. I know what it’s like to think you are doing the right thing.

But there is a fine line between listening and believing someone, and taking up a cross in their name wrongly. Abusers often cause those around them to act in their honor, making others believe they were right for what they’ve done. They leave out details that they don’t see as wrong. They’re more than happy to share how they were wronged by the person they abused. And they’re often thrilled to see the abuse continued in their honor by someone who sees them as right.

This, too, is a type of abuse. It’s a form of abuse the cross bearer undergoes, making them take such actions against another. It places the person in situations that could lead to charges being pressed against them for harassment and stalking, for libelous behavior, and more. This isn’t fair to the person being swayed by the lies that make them choose to follow the abuser. But it truly, happens every day.

And the truth is, no matter how much I explain my side of things, the abuser by association will never believe my side. Nor will they see the wrongness of their own actions. The abuse will continue because of the unhappiness, the bitterness, the hatred they carry within themselves. It will continue because of the untruths, and half-truths that they’ve been told and chose to believe. In the end, it’s a heart issue of their own as well that I cannot fix for them.

I know I am not the only one who faces this kind of abuse in their life. As a published Author and a blogger, my abuse is just seen a little more than others.

As a person, I refuse to continue to hide. But, because of this person’s blatant hatred for me, I chose to step back this past year until my daughter was old enough to prevent actions from being taken that could harm her. At this time, having seen the harassment and stalking I have endured the past decade from this person, my children have chosen not to allow them access with being online. But the time will come when the person’s abuse will find them as well. We do all we can as parent’s to protect our children and teach them better.

I chose to teach my children to stand against this kind of hatred. I choose to speak out for other’s who may be going through abuse like this as well. I chose to advocate for those who cannot speak out, so they know they are not alone in this. Because you’re not alone… and abuse such as this should not be tolerated or allowed. It is NOT OKAY. It is ABUSE and we all need to know it’s not normal to act this way.

If you’re in this type of situation, please feel free to reach out to me through social media. I am here for you.
If you are in a Domestic Violence situation, please know you are not alone.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
https://www.thehotline.org/

If you need Mental Health assistance:
SAMHSA’s National Helpline:
1-800-662-HELP (4357)
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

The bruises seen here are part of the story of the abuse I endured which I shared within my story in the Mental Health book collaboration I participated in.

What’s Next

February 11, 2020 by Dana

It’s been a while since I wrote a post to share with you all. I’ve been busy trying to figure out the direction I want to continue with for this blog and website. Life often changes direction unexpectedly and we are left figuring out what’s next. I’m in the “What’s Next” stage.

I started this blog over a decade ago with the intention to share about our family life with others. At that time, I wanted to share about our homeschooling adventures, as well as who we are for our family and close friends. Over time, it became so much more. I added in reviews and then our time on the Homeschool Review Crew. But this year we moved on from the Crew and because of that, we can now change direction of the blog as well.

Epilepsy was never intended to be the front man, yet over time it became center focus. 3 children with seizures is bound to make me pour my heart out. And I’m glad I did because we have gained so many wonderful friends who needed that encouragement and needed to see a family like ours sharing our heart and life.

This new year has brought in a new career choice: Marketing for Authors through a small publishing company that I’m greatly enjoying being a part of. The authors I work with are beyond wonderful and I’m glad I chose to take this on. The experience itself is beyond my original expectation. My readers can look forward to me sharing more about these wonderful writers soon.

I am continuing with reviews as well, but these will be personal and chosen by me. I love sharing reviews of wonderful written works and plan to keep on with that. I also love sharing wonderful products with you all.

This month brings a new release as an Author for myself. I’m extremely proud of the success of the last collaboration I participated in and I look forward to continuing my writing journey in the future. Publishing my story was a huge step for me, but it’s one I am so thankful I took.

As for the kids and the family, everyone is well and enjoying life as always.

I look forward to continue to share with everyone, and redeveloping this blog to better fit our current position in life. I look forward to continue to share, to develop and to write our story.

Thank you for traveling with me on this journey. I appreciate all of you!

They Say When You Have Arrived, You Have Haters

December 2, 2019 by Dana

They say when you’ve arrived, you have haters. Well Baby, Here I am!

But then I’ve had haters for a while now. I have readers who are extremely obsessed with me and with my life, who stalk me online, who post on my social media until they’ve been blocked, then somehow find a way to comment even after that. I’ve removed commenting from my profile because of their personal obsession and vindictive behaviors.

But let me point out, I am not the one who is stalking them, commenting on their social media profiles or even thinking about them every waking minute of my day. I don’t need to – their lives are insignificant to mine.

I live my life daily and I’m pretty proud of who I am.

Recently, I collaborated on a great book project that has released on Amazon. I, along with 15 other authors, share our stories of abuse, or hatred just like this person is doing to me, of being torn down only to overcome what we faced to move forward with our lives and keep going. We share about how we overcome our struggles, how others treated us, and how we’ve moved on to become the persons that we each are today.

Y’all my haters have found me there and they are determined to prove that I am a liar. I really don’t understand this ridiculous obsession with me. The comments left just go to show the abuse I’ve endured is true. I have never hidden anything about my past. If someone asks me, I share it. I’ve used my personal stories to help others. And those closest to me were there to verify what happened, as well as the photos I took to document bruises and abuse I went through with each of my exes.

The thing is that abuse doesn’t stop when you leave a place, and it doesn’t stop just because you block someone on social media. Obsession with someone is real. Seeking to destroy a person because you feel wronged, that’s real, too. Trying to destroy a person because you don’t want them to be successful out of your own spitefulness. And this obsessive stalking of me is just one more part of what I do deal with in my real life on a day to day basis.

That said, it’s not going to stop me from speaking out. There’s a lot more to my story that I didn’t share in the book. There is a lot more to my story that has yet to be written as well. I am not going to be bullied by someone who simply cannot let go or has a need to prove my story isn’t true. If you could do that, you would have already – you can’t so just stop.

The 15 other authors in this story don’t deserve a bad review just because you have issues with my story. The 15 other authors deserve top reviews for sharing these deep thoughts about who they are. But instead petty vindictiveness caused them to receive a low review just because it can be done. And when that one was deleted this obsessed individual wrote another in it’s place. That’s not fair to these individuals.

Cyber bullying is a real thing, y’all. I’ve spoken of it before. The laws against it are lax. And it drives people to suicide every day. That’s the truth of the realness of this kind of obsessive behavior.

For me, I choose to speak out against it, as just another part of my story. I chose to share it for you all to read and not hide in horror because it’s happened to me. This person obviously has a deep hatred of me, is suffering from their own mental health issues and needs help. I feel for them. I would help them if I could but this kind of help is one I cannot personally give. Medications are out there that help control obsessive behaviors, that help with mental stability when you have this type of mental health issues. I truly hope this person seeks help.

And if this happens to you, don’t give up hope. I have a whole team of authors and personal friends who stand beside and support me in my story, in my writing and in my day to day life. I won’t let them down by allowing anyone to continue tearing me down. My life and my story mean more than a couple of abusive comments online. My purpose in sharing it is to help others and that’s my continued hope for all my collaborative projects.

If you or someone you know are a victim of Domestic Violence please reach out the the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233

If you or someone you know are a in need of Mental Health assistance, you can reach out to the National Suicide Hotline at: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit their website at MentalHealth.gov

To learn more about Cyberbullying and Bullying in general, visit: StopBullying.gov

God’s Mail {Crew Review}

November 15, 2019 by Dana

Have you ever just needed a book that you lift you up and give you great encouragement? Do you enjoy inspiring messages that are filled with Biblical insight? God’s Mail is an encouraging series of books that help bring joy to the every day. For this review, our last for 2019 with the Homeschool Review Crew, we were gifted a copy of God’s Mail Volume 3 to read and share with you all.

God’s Mail Volume 3 was written by Ron Hardin and includes over 90 different inspiring poems that bring God’s word to the forefront of your day. Each poem is unique and designed to help you see that you are not alone in the things you may personally feel in your day to day life. Most of the poems are short, but a few do fill an entire page.

These poems can be used as a daily devotional. They are the perfect length for a short reading. On the first page of each poem section there are suggested related scriptures for you to read, and study, as well. These vary and go along with the subject matter that each of the poems discuss.

And there is no shortage of poems to pick from with over 90 selections in this volume. Additional volumes are also available for you to purchase and be inspired by. Each book being unique in it’s writings.

I actually chose this review for my Mother to read and enjoy. She has been having many health issues lately and she struggles with depression, which makes it hard for her to find inspiration in the day to day. So I felt this would be a great encouragement for her, giving her hope in our mundane world, and inspiring positive thoughts through each reading.

She has greatly loved all she has read in the book and even has some of her favorites bookmarked to review as she wishes to read. At first, she wasn’t sure if she liked the content but the more she has read, the more she has found hope in the words within each page. She also enjoys taking time to look up and explore each Bible verse, sharing them with my children as she does so.

She has asked me for the other volumes of God’s Mail, and is excited to read more of them over time. She believes this book is a great inspiration that many will find hope and comfort, even a few laughs with reading. The content is appropriate for any age to read and enjoy.

The book itself is softback and uses 8.5×11 formatting for the pages. It is 221 pages in length. In the front of the book, you will find a Forward, Introduction, Table of Contents and more.

In the About The Author section, you can read about the life and family of Ron Hardin and how God inspired him to bring God’s Mail to life as a project for others to read. Their family is sure to inspire you as well.