In the last month, I have lost count of the messages I have received online about my husband from one person. The harassment and contact to me started a week after we were married. It recently started again. I have repeatedly asked them to stop. I have blocked them on social media, I have even removed commenting from my blog. Yet, they still find a way to contact me.
I do not reach out to this person. They stalk me online. They read my blog. They’ve recently commented on my Facebook page. They will not take no for a hint. They will not stop.
Their comments are always about the same thing: their relationship with my now husband and the support he owes to them, always claiming it’s about their daughter when it comes down to being about nothing more than them. Something that has nothing to do with me and that I have nothing to do with. Even DSS states that I have nothing to do with the case between them.
They claim they do this for their child. Now I do a lot for my children but harassing someone who has nothing to do with their lives isn’t one of them. That seems to be a pretty child-like thing to do to me.
And this person keeps posting these messages in a public forum so I assume she doesn’t care if her past life is revealed and shared online at all, especially since some of this stuff actually reflects upon her and what she’s allowed her children to go through. Seems to me some decorum should be used for that of her child but to each their own. Shaming others seems to be her thing but really she’s just shaming herself. And yes, I do have every single thing documented right down to these blog posts – every message, note, letter, comment and even the IP addresses she’s used to contact me.
I have contacted the law. I can go to her home state and file charges. It’s a long drive there but I’ve been seriously considering it lately. I have already filed reports on the behavior at hand. Even the police have told me this is not legal and that I have nothing to do with her statements so they do not understand why she’s still hellbent on sending them. We all guess she just needs to be heard.
Y’all it’s seriously stressful to have to deal with someone else’s mental health issues but I know I am not alone in this. And I share the things I do here on my blog to help others know they are not alone. So if you are dealing with someone of this nature, I totally get it. I do. You become the innocent victim who is easily attacked just because there’s no real laws that stop someone like this. It becomes a game for them to see just how far they can push you before you reply to them. And you honestly don’t have a thing to do with the crap they continue to comment about. Most of which is so far in the past, they need to just let it go and move on.
I’ve dealt with a lot of dramatic people in my past but I don’t think I have ever met anyone who can’t just move on and stop messaging the same things over and over and over for a year. It’s tiring. I want to ask have they sought help, gotten their medication adjusted, or perhaps they need some medication and therapy to help them with these issues they cannot let go of. I mean, y’all it’s serious when someone has blocked you on social media, turned off their comments on their blog so you don’t comment and you STILL comment on a Facebook page just to show you can! Anyone who would go that far has some deep mental health issues.
And trust me, I’ve asked the cops what if she was to come kill me? She’s got a good job and a car. I have four children to take care of. I’m their only caretaker. My life is important. Yet she can just get away with her over the top comments and harassing me as she pleases. Someone who has nothing to do with her life at all.
That’s the seriously scary part. People do this daily to others and they get away with it. There’s no real protection against the crazy of this world. We’re just told to document it and file a report. She’s allowed to do whatever she wishes and tries to turn me in to the bad guy in the process.
I’m not hiding the abuse from her or anyone else any longer. She doesn’t hide her comments or who she is – she seems almost proud of it all. Like she’s really doing something by persuing all of this when in reality she’s just showing the world what we already know. She claims she only comes here to find out where my husband lives and that we’ve been hiding. I don’t see that since I have a very public blog and a very public series of social media that I frequently share on. I’ve been told in the past I’m predictable and I’m easy to find. Surely, if my own ex-husband can do this easily and if I can locate people myself without letting them know, she should have no problem accomplishing this herself and moving on.
No, it’s the thrill of the drama she causes and her need to be heard, to let me know she’s there, watching me daily. I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband wasn’t supposed to move on with his life without her permission, or maybe without asking her child, especially since none of this began until after we were legally married. He owes her child support and to her this means he owes her and her child his life. Money is the bane of all Evil. Money is greed in itself. And it definitely shows in each and every message I have received. I’m not the only one who has stated that.
I’ve even reached out telling her that she shouldn’t be contacting him, she should be in contact with DSS. It’s what I do. I don’t chase my ex’s for support. I went 10 years without a dime in support. I have seen to it my children were taking care of myself, without them. And just to note, we don’t receive food stamps though I do have medicaid for my children only. Last I checked, their Dad’s pay taxes so it’s their taxpayer money that pays for that just as your’s pays for your kids.
So this is the truth of it all: he owes her child support and because he does she has the right to harass me any time she pleases for something that I have nothing to do with. Not my case or my battle. But because I am here with him, I’m the lowest of low since I don’t make him pay that which he doesn’t have to give. I honestly didn’t know I could make anyone do something but apparently I can. And because I mentioned my child support was late in a post the other week, it gave her permission to cry to me about her own, as well as bash my husband publicly online for his past mistakes that she allowed when he lived in her home. Again, something I had nothing to do with and something he does not do here.
But this, y’all. This is the stuff I deal with behind the scenes in my life. This kind of harassment I’ve come to expect quite often now. Generally, I blow it off and vent to friends and family but since this person began reaching out on my public pages, I feel like I owe the truth and an explanation shared as to who she is and why she feels she can harass me and you all as well in the process. She thinks publicly shaming is okay and refuses to see it’s not. Cyber bullying, harassment – none of it is okay. No one should be bullied and harassed, especially not someone who is innocent in the matter.
I live my life. I take care of my children. I do my job which is blogging and reviewing each week. I provide for my children. I don’t reach out to my exes or harass their new wives. I’m happy they are happy in their lives. I’m not chasing them down or sharing about their past or anything else of that manner because in the end, that’s not what is important. My four children are what’s important and giving them every day the life of love they deserve even when money is not there. Because love is a lot more than money and it gets you a lot farther than greed.
If you’ve made it this far, I commend you. If you’d like to comment and you’ve not been blocked by me, then you know how to do so. God bless you all.
Until next time…