Sometimes, even with the best of educations, people’s ignorance can be seen shining like the brightest light ever seen from above. Sometimes, even with the best of educations, people cannot understand what DO NOT CONTACT means, or that there are papers filed showing previous harassment which will one day be used to show the truth of the situation. When our life falls apart, our most recent marriage fails and we cannot get through to continue the harassment, sometimes the most well-educated individuals will stalk, harass and find a way to break the NO CONTACT request because, well, if they are miserable, the rest of the world should be as well.
I’m not one of these people. I don’t seek out my exes’ new wives. I don’t bother them with my children’s personal needs or my own. Honestly… it’s not their concern. And I seriously don’t want them knowing my life’s business or how I feel about my ex because the past is the past.
See, if my marriage fails, if my child is lonely, if things are falling a part in MY life, it’s my place to fix that. It’s MY place to take care of my child and to love my child and see to it that I meet every one of my child’s needs. And I know I do because my children tell me I do. I’ve been the one picking my children up each time and holding them, loving them, doting on them and I always will be.
My child’s care has nothing to do with my exes’ new wives. Not one single thing. I gave birth to these four kids because I wanted each and every one. I took the responsibility to love and raise them.
Honestly, my husband loves and helps with my kids but in the end, these are still my kids, not his. They’re my responsibility to care for and take care of which I do. I don’t ask my exes for anything. I do receive child support when it is paid. If it’s not, I’m not going to sweat that either. I went 10 years taking care of my children without them paying a dime to me. I would do it again if need be because I don’t care about their money. And I’ve said that from the day I left each of them.
See, my days are filled with caring for my kids and their needs. It’s filled with putting them first, not worrying about what my ex and his new family is up to. I can promise, I don’t go looking them up just so I can see what they’re not giving my children… what a psychotic thing for anyone to do?!
I did mention in a recent post that I was $100 short on my child support. Seriously… I don’t give a crap because it’s not going to make or break me or my kids. Our family will still survive just as it did those years without it. If they all stopped paying today, we’d adjust and make it through just like we have always done. I’m sure not going to go complain to their new wives about that or them either.
Even being home with my children, which is recommended by their physician, including their new physician for their health, I’ve still found a way to see to it that my children had all they needed and never have I reached out to an ex for that. In fact, when my relationship failed in 2015 and I met my husband, I didn’t ask him to support us either – not once has he been asked to provide for anything except his common bills for our household. And he never will be. As I already said, my family is my responsibility. And he has a lot to pay for of his own, things he needs to pay for in order to be the man he is today… and I’m totally okay with that.
But back to the harassment from others. There’s an awesome little tool for online that allows you to block IP addresses. This is called blacklisting. Since the No Contact request doesn’t seem to work, the next step is to blacklist the email and IP address. In the future, anyone who messages me about my family, my husband or our children will be blacklisted. I’m tired of playing the drama game with others who can’t seem to get their life together. I don’t care what your life has had happen. I don’t care that your marriage is failing. I don’t care what you think someone deserves. NOT MY PROBLEM or concern.
And I’ll make sure to print copies of this for each of the children involved so that they can see I am simply a Momma trying to raise her beautiful children who is just really tired of the exes crap overall. If this is a problem for you, seek out psychiatric help. After the past few years of dealing with it all, it’s definitely needed. It sure helped me!
God bless and Good life,
Dana